It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize