Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
