butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
My balls are so social today.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
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