every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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