it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
