She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
