Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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