Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize