Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
