at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize