eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
