Only a mothe r could love this liver
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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