Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
