Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
