I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
