3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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