I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I can feel your judgement through the phone
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
