you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
