Pants 0. Shit 1.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
