i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize