It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
