Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He felt like a one man threesome
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
