Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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