His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
