I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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