Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
