I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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