Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Your penis caused this!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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