I wannas sexs uuuuu
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
