I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
