I wish I could teleport
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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