She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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