Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
