I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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