I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Two words: blizzard sex
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
