I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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