we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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