I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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