..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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