He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
