her vagine was all disorganized.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Randomize
