So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
