I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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