WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
