i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
