I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Man, jail baloney is awful.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
