That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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