he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
