It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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