I need to stop coming to work sober
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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