hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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