Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
