so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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