just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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