I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
40s are totally the cure
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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