I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He better not be in your backpack
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
