Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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