i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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