uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
