I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
That's how pantless uber rides happen
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Randomize
