Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
