Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
