I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
